Disappointed, disgruntled, disheartened, throw in whatever "dis" word you want, and that's me. I'm having my own personal pity-party here and it's my party and I'll bitch and moan if I want to. As I ran this morning, I had the Trailer Choir's song "Rockin' the Beer Gut" playing over and over in my head as my fat jiggled like jello. It's great that the gal they sing about in that song is proud of the "extra love around her waist", but I absolutely hate mine. I hate my gut, I hate my muffin top, I hate my chub-rub, I hate my batwings, I hate everything in between!
As you've probably guessed, I'm up 1.4 lbs this week to 162.4. I was really hoping to hit the 150's this week, but no, I had to spend the weekend with friends and gain weight. One of the friends I was with is vegetarian (vegan actually) and I decided I would just be her for the weekend. Apparently, vegan food isn't as slimming as I'd hoped when it's really good and you eat too much of it. I had some really great food and stayed away from the beer at all the brewpubs we went to (I only had 1 full beer the whole weekend, plus a few sips from my hubby's samplers), but clearly I did not make as good of choices as I could have. Now I know I shouldn't be making excuses, and I'm trying not to, but this whole not being able to lose weight thing is really pi**ing me off! I've been on this challenge for 3 weeks now and I've managed to lose a whopping 3.4 lbs. After last week, I was .2 from my 5# button and I couldn't even pull that off.
To top off the poor weigh-in, I'm really discouraged by my running. I'm up to running for 25-30 minutes without walking, but I'm so incredibly slow that I might as well walk and save my aching knees. My 5K race is this Saturday, and at my 12 1/2 minute mile pace, I'm going to need to run for close to 40 minutes. My poor husband is doing this with me and I feel like such a slug panting along next to him and slowing him down. This is his 1st 5K, so I should be happy he agreed to run with me, but I feel like I'm holding him back.
Next week and the week after that don't look like they are going to get any better. I'm taking a grad class that meets every day, all day next week and is about an hour from my house (each way). There is no way I can work out before class because the sun doesn't come up until around 6:15 and I won't run in the dark. (I woke up at 5:45 this morning to run before work - I don't normally work in the summer but I was covering for a friend who is on vacation - and ended up hitting snooze for 1/2 an hour until it got light enough to run outside). I may be able to work out after class, but really prefer exercising in the morning. After sitting in class all week, we are headed to Washington DC for vacation for another week. Meals out for 7 days should do wonders for my waistline. At least I'll probably get a ton of walking in, but won't be able to run (I won't run in an unfamiliar area) or do any weight training. We are camping while we are there, so I won't even have use of a hotel exercise room.
How am I supposed to pull this weight-loss thing off? I should know how, since I lost 50 lbs on WW back in the early 90's and kept it off for 6 years, but it is so much harder now. I feel as I've approached 40, my metabolism has ground to a screeching halt and I have to eat 1/2 as much and work out twice as hard to get the same results. I'm starving and sore.
To make matters worse, I have a 12 year old daughter who I should be modeling healthy habits and attitudes for. Luckily, she is a very athletic, active, healthy girl right now. Hopefully she will stay that way and puberty, with all of its boobs and hips, won't throw her for a loop. I really don't want her to grow up with the same issues I've had with weight and body image (I've been heavy since I was a teen and don't want that to happen to her). How am I supposed to keep her healthy when I can't even seem to take care of myself? Anyone have any insight into that one?????
Thanks for letting me bitch and moan. I will try my best to finish this challenge with at least a little bit of a loss over where I started. Luckily, my Team Peach sisters had successful weeks this week and I'm encouraged by their progress. Way to go, girls!
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