Confessions: Chicago!

I super big puffy heart love Chicago.  Seriously, it's probably one of my my favorite places to visit and is close enough to me that I can go on the spur of the moment.  This weekend I got to do just that.  I got wind that 2 of the writers from Shrinking Jeans (Christy and Melissa) were meeting up in Chicago to do some work on the site and Nancy (another Shrinking Jeans writer) was planning to take the train in on Sunday to meet them for breakfast.  I was lucky enough to go along and it was surreal to see the girls again (it had been WAY too long).  We had a great time having breakfast and seeing a couple of Chicago landmarks before Christy and Melissa had to catch their shuttle for the airport.  

The Bean

Beautiful ladies

Looking down 103 floors from the Willis (Sears) Tower SkyDeck

Yep, we are all in the glass box, 103 floors above the city!

After Nancy and I said goodbye to Christy and Melissa (after only a few short hours - so wish we could've spent more time together), we walked up and down Michigan Avenue.  The day was absolutely glorious.  

For the record, Marilyn is wearing panties.

I even did a little fantasy shopping.  There's something about designer $800-900 shoes that make you feel like a princess (and having feet small enough to try on the display shoes & not have to talk to the sales people is PRICELESS).  

Something about that red Louboutin sole is so sexy

Channeling my inner Carrie Bradshaw in a pair of Manolo Blahniks

Thankfully, Nancy wore her FitBit so we were able to get an idea of how far we walked.  The 6.6 miles helped to undo some of the booze choices on Saturday night and the food on Sunday (although we were both really good at dinner and ordered the most amazing fish tacos - so yummy!).

Monday was back to reality.  I started the New Rules of Lifting for Women strength training workout yesterday.  I'm not very sore today, but you can read about how it impacted my pride here. My experience with the free weights area really  made me wonder why women think there is an sign above the door that reads "Penis Required for Entry", because last time I checked - there wasn't.

Probably not the "confessions" post you were expecting, huh?  Today I'm feeling pretty good about everything, even if my dress is a little snug.  I'm on the right track and I'm hoping to get back to running this week (even if it means running with some pain - I have a half marathon in a month!)

Confess something awesome about your week in the comments. I give you permission to love yourself today.

True Confessions: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The good:
I've managed to keep up with my Fab Ab February workouts, gotten in a couple of (painful) runs, and done a couple rounds of tough mudder workouts.  I've also started reading the book The New Rules of Lifting for Women (more on this later).

The bad:
Last week I ended up with a stomach bug that made me not want to eat much.  By Thursday I had lost the 2 pounds I'd gained back - whoopie! But by Friday I was definitely wanting to eat again.  I ate a lot this weekend, probably because my stupid body thought it was starving from earlier in the week.  I should've stuck to not eating.  I also had wine.  A lot of wine. Someone smack me.

I didn't track anything last week.  Oh, there were a couple days of half-hearted tracking, but the past few days my phone's livestrong app has yelled at me at 6pm, "You haven't tracked yet today!" Why did I set up that particular alert?

The ugly:
It would appear I've somehow managed to jack up my Soleus muscle (a deep calf muscle that's really hard to stretch/roll out).  I'm lucky to have a girlfriend who is a PT and she worked on it last night (after 1/2 a bottle of wine).  It hurt like a mofo and there may have been a few words uttered her children shouldn't have heard. I also feel like I pulled something in my neck doing TM yesterday.  I'm a freaking mess and I can't get in to see my chiro until next week Wednesday.  This really sucks and makes me want to cry.

Those are my confessions.  What do you have to get off your chest?

True Super Bowl Confessions

I'm in a pissy mood because I typed a post using BlogPress on my phone, complete with pictures & shit, and it wouldn't let me publish. Kept giving me the message "Failed: Seems your network is not ready for posting." WTF is that supposed to mean?

So, I confess that I really didn't care who won the Super Bowl.  I was totally watching for the commercials.  (Loved the M&Ms one and the spot for The Voice with Betty White.)

I ate, but I didn't eat a ton.  What I ate though could barely be classified as "health food". I made the best beer, cheese & brat soup I've ever tasted, some buffalo chicken roll-ups, and lil smokies in spicy peppers.  Yep.  Salt.Salt.Salt and some more Salt, with a side of fat thrown in.

I drank, but kept it to 2 glasses of wine.

I had dessert.  Red Velvet Cake.  It was good.

The scale is going to be evil tomorrow because of all that crap and the fact that I had left over soup for lunch and dinner on Monday, as well as another piece of cake.  I'm clearly a moron.

I drank a shit-ton of water yesterday in the hopes to counteract some of the sodium, but my rings still barely fit today.  If this trend continues, I'm not only going to need a whole new fat wardrobe, but I'm going to need to have my rings made bigger, which really pisses me off because I've already had them made smaller.  I don't have money for new clothes and rings.  Our kids start Driver's Ed this spring and it's going to cost us over $700.  Plus there are races I want to run, even though running at this weight is probably destroying my knees and ankles.  Frak.  I'm really in a bad mood today.  Sorry.

I hope you were smarter than me in your eating and drinking this week.  So, the important question...What was your favorite Super Bowl commercial?

True Confessions: Stress is getting to me

You heard it here first, folks. I'm stressed out and today you get bullet points.

• I leave for the Tinker Bell Half Marathon on Friday night.  This involves planes.  I don't like planes.
• I've been trying to pack for the trip and my favorite shorts don't fit right now so I had a meltdown last night. (I did find 2 pair of fat shorts I can bring, but that didn't make me feel better.)
• I hate packing when I'm only bringing a carry-on because I a) always over pack, and b) can never fit all my liquids into one fraking ziplock bag. 
• I'm out of wine.
• I'm afraid I'll forget something this weekend.
• I still have to focus on work for the next 4 days, but luckily today I'm at a conference so I don't have to think too hard.
• I've been tracking my food and drink and staying in my calorie range but I haven't lost an ounce.  This might be due to the whole being out of wine problem.
• I hurt my shoulder doing all my push ups and the tough mudder workout, just as I was starting to see results.  (Don't worry, on advice of several good friends, I'm taking the week off from serious strength training.)

There you have it.  Confessions a la bullet points.  What do you have to confess this week?  I hope you don't have to confess that you haven't entered my awesome @ellasport workout capri giveaway, because the contest ends tonight & tomorrow I'll announce the winner!!

"You Know What To Do. So do it."

My dear friend, Kirsten, is very wise.  She knows I'm not happy with the number I've been seeing on the scale lately.  Her reply? "Stupid numbers" and "You know what to do. So do it." 

She's absolutely right.  First off, the number is just a number.  True, it needs to be a smaller number than it is right now or I'm going to need to buy new pants, but it IS just a number.  I've also lost this weight before and I know how to do it.  The problem?  I don't think the running is going to work this time.  This is what I did on Saturday. 

I spent just over 2 hours running on the treadmill and was blessed with my highest weight in well over a year the next day.  Now, I know some of that is water from sore muscles, and I ate a lot of salty foods to try and combat the severe dehydration I ended up with from sweating inside on the treadmill, but still.  NOT HAPPY.

Like she said, I need to "keep my body guessing".  This is where cross training and strength training comes in.  I've also been more lax with my diet and that needs to stop. Period.  How am I fixing this?  By tracking my food again using the Livestrong Daily Plate app. I've also bumped my daily calories down a bit.  No one freak or tell me that isn't enough to eat. On days I run more than 3 miles, I eat back the majority of calories I burn.  Figuring the right number of calories while training for half and full marathons is not an easy task. 

I've also been going through the Tough Mudder strength workout 2-3 times per week (on days I don't run) and the One Hundred Push Ups app 3 times a week (on running days usually).  The Tough Mudder workout kicks my ass and right now and I'm only completing the circuit once.  Hopefully in the next couple weeks, I'll be able to go through it twice.  I need to modify many of the moves (hello, I can't do a pull up yet or a decent "real" pushup) but I'm seeing progress.  Welcome to the gun show :) Total dork.

Seeing the hint of some baby biceps and triceps this week definitely made me happy and clearly more than a little goofy.  Being able to hold myself up to the chin up bar and do some better negative pull ups (where you lower yourself down vs trying to pull yourself up) is definitely showing progress.

So, while the scale isn't exactly cooperating with me, I'm changing behaviors that will HOPEFULLY net some nice results in the end.  That is my confession this week.  What's yours?  What are do doing to change behaviors that are negatively impacting where YOU want to be?

PS - You only have a week left to enter my contest to win an awesome pair of workout capris from ellasport.  Better GO ENTER!

True Confessions: Starting the Freakout

Today's true confession will be a little different.  I could keep talking about how I've been drinking way too much wine, how I ate 1/2 a pizza (with EVERYTHING) between Friday dinner and Saturday lunch, how Saturday night we ended up getting Chinese because every sports bar we tried to go to was PACKED (thank you Lions and Red Wings for ruining my chance at a night out and for not even WINNING your games - geesh), how my pants are still so freaking tight and that I feel completely out of control.  Yah, I could keep talking about that.  But I won't. 

I'm here to confess that my next half marathon is in 19 days. My first "fly away" big race.

In 17 days I have to get on not one, but two planes and fly solo to California.  I used to love flying as a kid, but as I've gotten older, now all I do is think about everything that could go wrong.  I have a whopping 58 minutes to get off of one plane and haul @$$ through O'Hare to get to another plane.  I'm so worried that I'll miss that 2nd flight and not get out there as planned.

I'm worrying about what to wear.  Of course I have my RunTeamSparkle skirt and fairy wings. I have my "It's Not Sweat It's Pixie Dust" t-shirt.  But it's trying to figure out what to wear underneath that's the problem.  It looks like it will be in the mid to high 40's at race time, which is that stupid grey-area temperature for me.  Too cold for shorts/capris but too warm for pants.  I can tolerate my legs a little cold, but staying warm on top without overheating might be a big challenge.  Do I just go with the t-shirt and arm warmers?  Do I layer? GAH.  Our weather here has been an unseasonably warm 40+ degrees, so I'm thinking of doing my 6 mile run today in my anticipated "Tink" costume (minus the fairy wings, cuz I can only imagine what the people on the trail would think) and see how I feel.

I'm worrying about how I'm going to feel seeing myself in race pictures 10+ pounds heavier than I was for the marathon (and I thought I looked too heavy in those pictures too).  I'm going to be meeting some really awesome people for the first time, and reconnecting with some other friends, and I have ZERO confidence right now because I'm so pissed that I let myself gain 10 pounds.  But, I want to be able to put a smile on my face in the Happiest Place on Earth.

I'm worried about what I should carry on me when I run the race.  My fuel belt doesn't exactly "go" with my costume :)  but I've always carried my own water, sport beans, gu.  I also need to have a camera.  Do I just use Lola (my sexy iPhone) or do I steal my daughter's small point and shoot, that happens to be waterproof and dropproof?

I'm freaking out about having to get to the airport only a few hours after the race.  Hopefully I'll be able to at least shower and eat something before trying to get home.  Oh, and I have to do two planes again - this time with only 40 minutes to change planes in Denver (an airport I've never been in).  At least I've flown through O'Hare enough to know my way around.  If I miss my flight in Denver, I won't make it to work on Monday.  Also?  How stiff and sore am I going to be after running 13.1 miles earlier in the day. 

My left ankle/calf have been pretty angry lately.  I don't know if it's because I've been pushing my pace quite a bit or because I'm heavier, but either way, it makes me worried.  I have no doubts of my ability to finish 13.1 but I'd like to do it without limping.

I know there's really nothing I can do to control any of this.  This is why I'm already heading into freakout mode.  Have you run a race that's required a flight?  How do you keep from freaking out over everything you can't control?

True Confessions: A Look Back

Back on Jan 7, 2011, I participated in a little monthly project with the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.  (Really, a yearly project if you think about it.) The idea was to write a letter to the "me" of January 2012.  Make some predictions as to what was life going to look like for me a year from now (which is NOW - confused yet?).  Then, go back and read what I wrote a year ago and reflect on that.  Kind of a look back at my 2011 goals, so to speak.  So, here goes....


"2011 started out with a bang for you!  Only 6 days in, you signed up for your longest race EVER.  A 25k that you would go on to SMOKE in May.  You set your mind to run the whole race (after using intervals for your 1/2 marathon in 2010), only walking through the aide stations because, lets face it, you are a klutz and running over slippery cups while trying to drink and stay hydrated is a recipe for disaster.  Before that 15.5 mile race even started though, you were planning your training and you ran a couple other races for fun.  You convinced Mike to run a 10k with you in February (his longest race ever!) and then you ran a 5k for St. Paddy's day.  Fun races with fun people.  After the St. Pat's run, you got down to business and trained your heart out for Riverbank." Let's see, I DID kick the River Bank Run's butt.  As for a 10k in February and 5k for St. Paddy's Day?  Those didn't happen because I started training for a 10 mile race in April, but I managed to log 123 miles running in Feb and March!

"The Riverbank 25k was awesome, but know what was even better?  The next weekend, meeting all those amazing hookers you'd been chatting with on twitter and through blogging at Fitbloggin!  It was so incredible that you won that ticket from your friends at Shrinkingjeans.  You really could not thank them enough for the opportunity to go to Baltimore.  You got to room with Lisa, Melissa and Christy and had an absolute blast!  Seeing Kirsten again ROCKED.  So did meeting all those other fab ladies and then running a 5k with them.  You didn't PR that one (you had just run 15.5 miles 5 days before!) but it was the company that counted.  You even learned a little more about how to be a better blogger :)" Check and Check!  Probably one of the best weekends EVER.  I'm so sad that Fitbloggin12 isn't scheduled until September, but I'm hoping that I'll get to be there!

"You kept running and in the summer, you tackled your first triathlon.  Yah, you swam in open water, did a little biking, and then went out for a run.  All on the same day.  Amazing, huh?  If it weren't for those skanks pressuring you encouraging you, I'm sure you would never have had the guts to "tri" (ha-ha, get it? ohnevermind).  You got through the heat of the summer, got a couple more 5 and 10k's under your belt, and then you ran the SH*T out of the Grand Rapids Half Marathon.  Your time from last year?  Blew it out of the water!  I was so proud of you.  You felt strong and really enjoyed the moment.  You finished your racing year by running the Turkey Trot with Mike again.  You even convinced him to pay for a shirt this time :)  Did you realize when the year started you would log over 500 miles running?  That's pretty amazing, if you ask me (which I am you, so I do)!"  Whoops - I was WAY off here!  That triathlon never happened, and neither did the 1/2 marathon - BECAUSE I RAN THE FULL.  Because I ran my first (yes, I said FIRST) full marathon in October, I decided to take most of the month of November off from running, so no official Turkey Trot in 2011, but I did get out and run that morning.  I was also a bit off on that mileage total.  I ended up running 780 miles this year (and clocking 930 total miles).   

"As for the weight you lost in 2010 - it all stayed away thanks to the running and healthy eating you did.  You will always need to stay on top of your eating, cuz let's face it, you like food!  But you have learned what works for you.  Great job!" Here, I'm not happy to say, was a bit of a fail.  I'm actually up about 10 pounds from where I was a year ago, and this saddens me greatly.  No, I take that back.  It PISSES ME OFF.  I worked very hard to get down to my goal weight and in the last 2 months of 2011 completely blew it.  But, I lost it before and I'll do it again.

"I'm also very proud of you for not completely flipping out when your babies started High School in September.  Well, at least you didn't flip out TOO badly.  I'm sure they will recover.  Eventually." D and K have really rocked high school.  I'm so fortunate to have such amazing, gifted kids.  I think the flipout could have been much worse.

"So anyway, it was fun to reflect back on all you did this year.  No way a couple years ago would you have even CONSIDERED running a block, much less an average of 10 miles a week!  Keep it up, my dear!  You are a runner!" No doubt here, I have definitely become a runner.  Now I can't imagine where I would be without having that outlet.  This year, I'm also adding some serious strength training to hopefully get my skinny self back in 2012.


Now, it's time to start thinking about my goals for 2012.  That, my friends, will be a post for another day.


Looking back at 2011, what is one thing you never expected to do or accomplish?

True Confessions: Have I Blown It?

This is a hard confession for me to write.  I feel like all my hard work getting to a healthy weight has gone completely out the window.  I haven't posted a weight here in many many months (the last I could see was mid-July and I was well within my weight range of 135-138).  Not anymore.  Today I weighed in and saw 145 on the scale.  That's the heaviest I've been in 2011, a good 10 pounds above my lowest weight, and probably the heaviest since Aug 2010 when I finally got below 140 (a number I said I'd never see again and here I am 5 pounds above that).

I did a great job maintaining my weight loss for the better part of a year.  WTF happened?  I'll tell you what happened.  I trained for and ran a marathon.  Then...I've continued eating for the past 6 weeks like I was STILL training for a marathon.  I've eaten crap (hello - yesterday alone I had 2 donuts, went to McD's for lunch, and had an uber-high-calorie Starbucks - my guess? over 4000 calories yesterday).  I've been boozing with my friends a lot lately (dude - beer has a ton of calories, just so you know).  But you know what?  Unless you're running 25-30 miles a week, that really isn't a good idea.  Hell, it isn't a good idea PERIOD to eat and drink like that.

This shit has to stop.  NOW.  I am so pissed and disgusted with myself.  I not only feel fat, I look fat.  I can see the 10 pounds I've gained.  I changed shirts today so I am now wearing one that covers my stomach more.  (The weird thing? I went out dancing with a girlfriend 2 weekends ago in a short skirt and boots and the shirt I changed out of this morning.  I felt great about how I looked, even though I probably didn't look any smaller than I do today- this I cannot explain.)  In any case, overall, my clothes are tight (guess I shouldn't have gotten rid of all those fat pants, huh?).  10 pounds on a sub 5'3" body is A LOT of weight.

This morning, I started tracking again.  I re-downloaded the Livestrong Daily Plate app that I used before.  I measured the creamer in my Drink Click this morning (speaking of - today is the last day to enter my giveaway - I'm picking a winner at 8:00 tonight).

My plan:

• continue to track calories in/calories out at least through the end of the year
• no more eating after 8:00 pm
• at least one strength training session a week, preferably I should be getting in 2-3 sessions, but I'm trying to be realistic
• at least 64 oz of water every day
• Cut out the booze

Back to basics I go.  I just know how hard it was for me to lose these 10 pounds before, so I'm angry at myself to have to do it all over again.  All I know is this trend cannot continue.

True Confessions: A Rut

I wasn't going to post today, but I'm feeling very blah and needed to get a few things out (at least what I can get out in a public forum like this).  

• I'm in a rut.
• I'm fueling my body (and I use the term "fueling" very loosely) with crap and my scale is reflecting this. (Case in point: McD's fries for lunch today.)
• I'm the heaviest I've been in probably 6 months.  Not by a lot, but enough that I'm over what I consider my "danger" weight and I feel gross right now.
• I've run a whopping 18 miles total since my marathon on October 16th.  (To put it in perspective, I hadn't run less than 18 miles in a WEEK for the three months leading up to the race, except one week when I was horribly sick and only ran 4 miles.)
• I also haven't been doing really any other workouts.  I've biked once or twice, done a couple NTC workouts, but that's it.  It's no wonder I've gained a couple pounds and probably lost massive amounts of muscle.  Eating crap + no exercise = a fat, depressed, Bari.
• My Tinker Bell Half Marathon training is supposed to start this week.  Tonight should be my "first" run of 40 minutes and this Saturday my "first" long run of 4 miles (if I follow the half plan from a year ago).  Should be easy, right? But my runs lately haven't been very easy.  I really wish I had a training partner for this, because the thought of training by myself this winter makes me sad.

If anyone would like to run with me this afternoon/tonight, please let me know.  I'd love the company.

True Confession Tuesday-Post Marathon Blues

So, the past week and 2 days have been really *weird* for me.  You see, I ran this little marathon on 10/16/10 and since then I've felt totally lost.  I've only worked out twice (both times using Nike Training Club and doing strength work) and each workout literally kicked my ass.  I felt so incredibly out of shape that it was sad.  Granted, I really slacked on the strength work near the end of training anyway, so I totally got what I deserved in that respect.  I also did a 4 mile walk on Saturday that left my shins more sore than the marathon - go figure.  Clearly I need to stick to running?  I feel like I have no direction because I don't have any workouts mapped out on my calendar.  My next big race, the Tinker Bell Half Marathon, is in 96 days.  I have plenty of time to train and since I don't plan on running this race for *time* per se, the pressure is off a bit maybe too much.  Also, as Kirsten pointed out, my longest training run for this will be a piece of cake after marathon training.  I'm hoping to do an 8k in November (depending on where we are for Thanksgiving) and a 5k in December (likely in TONS of snow - also NOT a PR type of race).  I haven't run since the marathon, and frankly, I'm a little scared that it won't go well or something.  It sounds completely stupid when I type it out, but there you go.

My eating has been shit and I said I wouldn't step on the scale for at least a couple weeks after the marathon.  Well, I stepped on the scale on Saturday and was pleasantly surprised to see a number a couple pounds less than my "danger zone" weight.  Now, with all the shit I ate and drank over the weekend, I'm probably back up over the danger zone, but whatever.  The main thing is needing to get my eating and this marathon gluttony in check. 

My emotions are also all over the place.  I'm better this week, but still feel like I could burst into tears at any moment.  Work was VERY hard last week, with some extremely challenging students and stressful parent meetings, and I even cried in front of another teacher.  Now he keeps asking me if everything is okay.  F*CK.  I so did not want to go there.  KWIM?

I'm sure a lot of what I'm feeling is post-marathon blues.  You train and train and have a goal for 4 months and then *poof* in less than 5 1/2 hours, it's over.  I know I just need to snap out of it, but it's hard.  At least it is for me. 

Have you ever experienced post-race blues?  What did you do to get over it?

Terrific True Confessions Tuesday: Last Day to Enter!

Today is the last day to enter my giveaway for a custom tech shirt from My Race Ragz.  You have until 9:00 PM EST, so click that link and ENTER! I'll be running in my shirt on Sunday - what will you wear for your next race?

Since this is True Confession day, I'm going to confess that I need to not step on the scale until after the marathon.  I'm thinking at least a week after the marathon.  Yesterday morning the bi*ch made me want to cry and I am so much more than a number on a piece of machinery!  I am a 41 year old woman who is going to be running her first marathon in 5 days, dammit!  I've been training my @$$ off since June (well, apparently not LITERALLY) and I should be thrilled with what my body has been capable of.  Gaining a couple pounds during training and taper shouldn't make me freak out.  Now...if they aren't gone within a month AFTER the marathon, then we've got a problem.

Also, I'd like to confess I wish it was Sunday around 1:30 pm so I could stop feeling like I might barf or cry at any given moment.  If you see me in Target this week sobbing, just ignore me.  Yesterday's edition of the Grand Rapids Marathon Newsletter contained some very good advice from marathon director Don Kern.

"EVERYBODY HERE LOVES YOU

So, I said all that to make this point:

RE-FREAKIN'-LAX

You're ready.  You've prepared.  You've trained.  And now, it's time for the fun.  Feel the energy from the people around you.  Find someone wearing a staff jacket and give them a hug.  It's your day now.  Enjoy everything about it. 

Don't stress about parking.  There's plenty.  Don't stress about aid stations.  They're well stocked, and they're ROCKIN'.  Don't stress about portajohns.  We have plenty.  (Some of them look like big blue plastic boxes and have white toilet paper.  Many others look like big plants with woody stems and have various colored toilet paper on them.)

Everybody here loves you.  We're all here to help.  And YOU?  You're gonna be awesome out there."

Yep - waterworks.  I'm trying, Don!  I'm trying to "re-freakin'-lax".

True Confessions: the post wall edition

After finishing a very rough 20 mile run on Sunday, I have come to a shocking conclusion.  Ready?

I need to use these tools WAY more than I have been.  I know this, but because I've been feeling pretty good and recovering from my long runs easily and quickly, I've been neglecting the stretching and rolling.  

As I was laying on the couch in misery Sunday night, texting away with Kirsten, she reminded me how much I need to stretch and roll.  Especially after these long, brutal runs.  Sunday really kicked my ass, mentally and physically.  I'm still extremely sore (not "injured" sore, but tight muscles - hip flexors and hamstrings especially) and I'm a bit scared to go do speedwork tonight.  I went for an 8 mile, easy bike ride yesterday and it really didn't help loosen anything up.  Can't wait to hear what my sports chiro says tomorrow.

And, since this is true confession day, I really need to lay off the pretzel M&Ms.

What about you, anything you want to get off your chest today?

True Confessions: #runchat advice!

Hi all,
Today is Tuesday, which is typically "true confessions" day.  You know, the day where you admit to eating an entire (not small) bag of pretzel M&M's or about NOT eating enough after your first 20 mile run so you crashed and felt like crap most of the rest of the day.  Yah, that day.

But, I'm not going to do that today.  Today, I'm going to confess that I'm VERY confused about how to run my 10 mile race next weekend.  Yah.  I have a race before the marathon.  A little "tune-up" 10 miler here in town.  It should be really fun and scenic, but it doesn't exactly fit into my training schedule.

I'm supposed to run 15 miles on Sunday.  Then, I have my 2nd 20 miler on Saturday.

I need some advice.

Here are my thoughts for Sunday's 10 Mile Bridge Run:

1. Just run the 10 as hard as I can - shooting for a PR.
2. Run an easy 2-3 mile warm-up on the treadmill at the gym right before the race and then run the 10 at my marathon goal pace. (Which, in all honesty, I'm also very conflicted about.  You see, I've had a couple REALLY good long 18 & 20 mile training runs, so some of my friends have put a finishing time in my head that wasn't even in the ballpark of what I was thinking.  This is another dilemma altogether.)
3. Run an easy 2-3 mile warm-up at the gym and then run the 10 miler easy.  I do have a 20 miler just 6 days later.

There you have it.  Please comment.  Take a vote.  Whatever.  I.NEED.HELP!

Also, make sure to go visit my newest 26.2 sponsor, Roo!  She didn't want a bunch of shout-outs, so I'm just linking to her twitter because she's so freaking hilarious and I love her to pieces.  Roo is also one of the Social Sisters over at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, so if you are around on Tuesday Nights at 8 Central, stop on by.

True Confessions: Welcome to the 2011-2012 School Year

Today is the first day of school for students in my district (Michigan starts late, I know many of your kids have been in school for a week or more already).  My own are now officially high school freshman excuse me while I go sob in the corner. I spent the majority of the morning helping out in one of our kindergarten classrooms and I can't believe my own children used to be that small. 

Anyhoo, I really don't have time to blog today, which is unfortunate since I'm sure there is much that I could be confessing um very little water today, lots of diet coke, lots of rum (but not today yet), candy bars, yada yada yada.  Between all that and swearing at my computer for all the tech glitches today (including the district computers thinking I was a student for about an hour and not letting me get to any of my usual sites) it's a wonder it isn't worse.  I have no idea what my plans are for after school today.  I'm either going to a diving meet (if my daughter gets on the roster) or doing a group Grand Rapids Marathon Beer Run.  I'll let you guess which one I'm hoping for :-)

Instead, I leave you with what you may have missed over the holiday weekend:
On Monday, I introduced you to my latest 26.2 sponsor, my dear friend Kirsten (@girlsworld to all of you on twitter). 
Sunday, I reviewed my week in pictures.
And back on Friday I complained about wrote about fitting in all in.

Besides a little writing, I spent Labor Day with the hubby's family and even managed to get to the beach for a few cold, windy minutes.  How was your holiday weekend?

Would you like to join my sponsors Ben, Erin, Andrea, Lisa, Ann, the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, Melissa and now Kirsten in supporting me as I train to finish my first full marathon, the Grand Rapids Marathon? I have set up a sponsorship page in which you can help me reach my goal of crossing the finish line (sponsorship will help pay for race fees, nutrition/hydration, shoes, etc). You can click HERE, or click on the tab above. I would love and appreciate any support you can give me. Bloggy and linky love will follow, as well as the ability to sponsor individual miles and run "with" me on October 16th. I cherish all the love and support my readers have given me this year. I wouldn't be attempting this race without you.

True Confessions: Summer's Gone :(

Today I went back to work.  Only for a few hours and we don't officially start back until next week, but it was bittersweet all the same.

Because of work and then running home to run K to diving and then to the gym to get my own workout in, I totally forgot it was True Confession day.

My confession?  I'm sad to see summer come to an end, but also ready to work again and get my kids started in high school.  (They have a 3 hour orientation tomorrow!)  Working with 4 adorable preschoolers today reminded me how much I love my job.

I will miss sleeping in though.  Except I haven't slept in on the weekend all summer - darn marathon training.

What will you miss most about summer coming to an end?  What are you looking forward to this fall?

True Confessions: Is This Wrong?

So, today I decided to head over to the brand-spanking new YMCA by my house for my speedwork session. The facility just opened yesterday and it's quite nice. Tons of cardio equipment (I think I counted 40+ treadmills), a nice spin studio, a small family pool. All pretty and shiny :-)

It's 8:30 in the morning and there are 5 of us using treadmills, a couple people on ellipticals, some on the weights, but overall really quiet. I get myself setup for my 3x1600 speedwork. The TMs are great: they charge your iPod while you run, nearly all have TVs attached, it's going GREAT! I'm jamming out to my tunes while I watch Regis. I'm into my 3rd mile sprint, almost done actually, when all of a sudden, the treadmill goes from the 7 mph I had it set at to 4 mph.  I literally SLAM into the front of the TM because my legs are still going said 7 mph.  I even torque my knee a little, which pisses me off.

No where on the treadmills does it say they will automatically switch to cool-down mode at 30 minutes.  NO WHERE!!  Now, not only have I lost all my workout data because the timer went away, but I'm in a bit of pain from slamming my stomach into the TM bar.  Needless to say, I'm a bit pissed.  I quick speed the TM back up to finish my last 1/4 mile or so of my sprint and then I slow the belt down to 6.0 to do my cooldown 1/4 mile.  During this, the stupid thing slows itself down several more times because I didn't think to just turn it off and restart.  It's still in it's own cooldown mode.  I finish my workout and really have no idea what my actual time was.  At least the distance was accurate.

So, here's my "True Confession" question.  Do you think it's right for gyms to automatically impose workout time limits on the equipment?

The other branch I go to has little signs up "please limit your time to 30 minutes" but I take that to mean if others are waiting or during peak hours, not when there are a bazillion other machines open.  This morning, there were no less than 35 open treadmills.  Also, all of us have very different workout goals.  I don't think I've done less than 30 minutes on a treadmill in forever.  Does this make me some kind of workout snob because I might want to run 6 miles or because my 3.5 to 4 mile speedwork can't be finished in less than 30 minutes (at least not by me)?  My husband says I need to talk to the gym about this because, A) I could have really gotten hurt when the TM changed speeds without warning, and B) to see why this is the policy.  I'm not even sure what to say without coming across as bitchy and complaining.  Any suggestions, my dear friends?

Also, since this is True Confession Tuesday, I'll confess that yesterday was my birthday (my 3rd annual 39th if you must know) and I ate a lot of crap and drank a fishbowl's worth of margaritas.  Calories do not count on your birthday! (Also, THANK YOU to everyone who wished me "happy birthday" yesterday on twitter, facebook, texts, the hood - I love all you guys!)

So, by now you probably know I'm training for my first FULL MARATHON! I would LOVE your help in getting across the Grand Rapids Marathon finish line.  I have set up a sponsorship page in which you can help me reach my goal of crossing that finish line.  You can click HERE, or click on the tab above.  I would love and appreciate any support you can give me.  You can read about my first sponsor here! Bloggy and linky love will follow, as well as the chance to sponsor individual miles and run "with" me on October 16th.  I cherish all the love and support my readers have given me this year.  I wouldn't be attempting this race without you. 

True Confessions: The Training is Getting Crazy Edition

Yesterday I realized I'd run 154 miles since I started marathon training on June 11th.  Seeing as my marathon isn't until October 16th (67 days away), I'm going to be running many, many more miles between now and then.

Last Saturday was my longest training run so far - 15 miles.  This isn't the farthest I've run, since the 25k I ran back in May is a 15.5 mile race, but it was the longest I've been on my feet running.  It took me 3 hours. More time than the 25k.  That's a long freaking time.  It hurt.  It was slow.  The heat and humidity were brutal.  But, I did it.  This coming Saturday I will enter uncharted territory.  I have a 17 mile run on the schedule.  I'm obsessing over a route already and how long it's going to take.  Someone needs to smack me.

What does all this have to do with True Confessions?  I still don't know how to eat for these runs.  During my run on Saturday, I tried some new fueling options (more about them in another post, maybe).  My stomach was fine during and after the run, I felt well hydrated (I refilled my bottles at the 5 and 10 mile points) and I didn't really start to feel tired until around mile 13.  (You know that LMFAO song? "Every day I'm shuffling" kept going thru my head as I forced myself to pick up my feet so I wouldn't trip over myself.)  But, I digress.  The issue?  For the first time EVER, I felt HUNGRY during a run.  Like I wanted real food.  Maybe it's because I was running by restaurants, maybe it was because I wasn't using heavy, gut clogging fuel like the gu I'd been using.  IDK.  All I know is that I wanted to eat.  I also wanted to eat when I got home.  I ate.  A LOT.  Salty, fattening food.  *head smack*

Also, yesterday my twins turned 14, so we had birthday brownie sundaes and I got all choked up going thru photo albums.  They think I'm crazy, but I think at 14, that is pretty much their job.

Sooo, if any of you marathon runners have some suggestions for me on how to fuel for nearly 6 hours, I'd love to hear them.  I really don't see myself cramming a PB&J into the small pouch on my fuel belt, so I'm at a loss.  Do I have my family sherpa food for me or something?  Go back to the gu (which I think I'm going to try again on Saturday)? Help a girl out, please!

Confessions of Fear & Doubt

Fear and doubt are powerful emotions.

They can cripple you or make you stronger.

They can eat you alive or you can chew them up and spit them out.

I'm trying very hard to embrace option B.

I want to be strong.

I don't want fear and doubt to consume me.

At the moment, I'm not winning.

But I'm trying.

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 NIV

True Confessions: Overwhelmed

I have to confess, my sins are much more mental this week.  I'm feeling a tad-bit overwhelmed.  Ok, A LOT overwhelmed.  Because of this feeling, you get this confession in bullet points. 

• Overwhelmed at the thought of actually running for 26.2 miles in just 3 months.  I made the mistake of mapping out a point-to-point distance from my house to Lake Michigan, and it was 28 miles.  That is REALLY FREAKING FAR.
• Overwhelmed at how I'm going to work in training once school starts back up at the end of summer.  Right now, it's been great getting to sleep in a little and then get my runs in, or some cross training.  I haven't figured out how I'm going to do that come the end of August and that scares me.
• Overwhelmed about how to balance eating right and training.  I'm up a few pounds (about 5 or 6 from my all-time lowest weight, but still well within my "goal" range).  I mentioned stressing about this and it prompted tons of convos back and forth on twitter today about the need to track what I eat before the weight gain gets out of hand.  Honestly, I really don't want to track.  It makes me crazy and then that's one more thing to add to the "overwhelmed" feeling.  If I don't track perfectly, I've failed and then what's the point?  A bunch of people suggested My Fitness Pal and some other apps, but I have ways to track.  That isn't the issue.  Ashley said something about making sure the plate was filled with mostly stuff that doesn't need to be tracked, fruits and veggies.  That's just great, but what about the carbs and protein I need to keep my body going for all the miles I'm putting in.  Like I said, overwhelming.
• I'm also overwhelmed by the day-to-day.  We are in the process of refinancing our house and taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University course.  All the talk about money and budgets is making me nucking futs.  I know we need it, and working through the budget may actually get me to some races I really want to do this year, but the process to get there is no fun.  I skipped the last 2 weeks so I could spend time with Kirsten and then get a run in (the hubby still went) but I have to go tonight.  So, instead of getting the house ready for the appraiser and going over the materials for class, I'm sitting here on the computer spilling my guts and trying to get the kids to clean the house.  It isn't working.

This all may seem trivial and you guys might just think I'm nuts, but this is how I'm feeling today.  Forgive me friends, for I am a basket case.  After all, this is the point of "true confessions" isn't it?  To get shit off your chest?  So, confession complete and sins forgiven?

True Confession Tuesday - Heavy Heart

Today, my heart is heavy.

I'm in a funk.

I know why.

 I'm trying to change my thinking.

It's just so very hard.

I should be full of joy after last week.

But, sadly, I'm not.

I'll be fine, though.

This, too, shall pass.