How NOT to be a coach: keeping it real

*advanced warning - there will be profanity*

This past weekend I joined a "Clean Eating" group on FB run by one of those coaching sites that I won't name here but just open up any browser and I'm sure their site will pop up.  I've been looking for a little more structure to get my eating back on track and it sounded like a good idea at the time. One of my friends is a coach and when she asked if I wanted to join I told her I would love to check out the meal plans and I'd follow as close as I could, but would not be buy any shakes (No worries, she said, they aren't required) and would not be participating on Wednesday because I already had plans to go to Chicago for a Cubs game with the family for my 20th anniversary.

She was totally cool with that because HELLO, our lives do not stop because of a meal plan.  Have fun, she said, and just get back on track on Thursday.

So on Wednesday, I checked in with my lunch, which by all accounts was VERY healthy considering what the other 3 people sitting around me were consuming and I was proud of the choices I made.  I really wanted a Reuben or Chicago beef sandwich but I went much healthier:  Turkey burger with only 1/2 the bun and all of the veggies from my sandwich and my son's, veggies on the side instead of fries, oh - and that beer.  Yes, I said in the group that I was in Chicago for a Cubs game and planned on having a couple beers and a Chicago dog at the game. Because CHICAGO...CUBS...BASEBALL!

My lunch - there's a turkey burger under all that produce.

I got a couple comments about how leaving 1/2 the bun and choosing veggies over fries was a great compromise.  Or something like that.  You see, I can't go back and check what people actually said because...I GOT REMOVED FROM THE GROUP!

Yep...you read that right.  The actually admin, XXX (edit-I was asked to remove her name from the post and I'm not a bitch so I've removed it), removed me from the group without even asking me what I was doing or why I was eating what I was eating.  Does this sound like good coaching to you?

This is the direct message I received this morning from my friend who is also a coach and who I thought was the admin for the group.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!

I seriously didn't know what to think. Apparently some of the other participants were all pissy because "Why should she get to cheat when I can't?".

I have a news flash for those other participants - and Coach XXX, too.  God gave you free will and the ability to make choices.  How you deal with those choices and how you move past them is entirely up to you.  The only person you have to answer to is yourself and at the end of the day, that's all that matters.

I chose to keep it real and admit that I wasn't on plan that day (which I guess admitting was against the rules) instead of just disappearing for the day (which was also against the rules because we were required to check in at the end of each day). Other people had commented that their meals were "a 3 out of 5" or "I had an emergency appointment so my lunch was XYZ". Did they get removed? I hope no one else in the group admits to eating an Oreo or having a glass of wine because XXX will kick them out of the group, too, instead of being a COACH.

Yes, XXX, you proved exactly how NOT to be a coach.  You never talked to me, messaged me, or gave me a chance to discuss it.  You simply removed me from the group.  You didn't know that it was my 20th anniversary and that I chose an activity for the entire family so I could squeeze a little bit more time with my twins who are moving away from me next year, instead of just some fancy dinner with Mike where we probably would have each had a bottle of wine and easily twice the calories I had yesterday.  You didn't know that we parked a good walk away so I probably had more exercise yesterday than a lot of your other participants.  You didn't know that I didn't drink another beer after 1:20 when the game started because I chose not to.  You don't know that I didn't eat again until about 7:30 last night when I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich.  You didn't know that I got up at 7:00 this morning and ran 4 miles.  Again, something I'm sure most of your participants would not do after being out late from driving home the night before.  You don't know that I already had today's meals planned out to be back on track.  I was 100% PERFECT on Monday and Tuesday, yet you chose to ban me after one day without so much as one iota of "coaching" from you.

If I sound pissed, you're reading this correctly.  Pissed. Shocked. Also a little hurt. If that's the kind of "support" that this particular group gives, I worry for the participants who really need it.  Because I'm sure there are other people out there who need a real coach - someone who talks to them and helps them get back on track, someone who helps them make a plan for "life" happening, someone who doesn't just drop them like a hot potato as soon as they make a choice that you don't approve of.

Good luck to the rest of the people in that clean eating group.  I really hope you find the support and encouragement you need.  Thanks to my friend who had the decency to message me, too.  I really do appreciate her support.

Save 2nd Base - a #giveaway for Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Did you know that 1 in 8 US women (about 12%) will develop breast cancer in her lifetime? (source)

When I think about my girlfriends, aunts, cousins, and sister, and think that of every 8 of us, 1 of us could be diagnosed, that's a very scary statistic.

So far, my family and I have been lucky.  For this I'm very thankful.  Unfortunately, I know too many friends and co-workers who have not. 

While breast cancer is largely related to genetics, there are some things you can do to reduce your chances - or at least catch it early.

1. Limit alcohol, don't smoke and control your weight.  
2. Be physically active.
3. Breast feed.
4. Limit the duration of hormone therapy.
5. Reduce exposure to radiation and environmental toxins.
6. Take advantage of early detection examinations - most insurance companies cover regular physicals and mammograms.  I just had mine and am blessed to have received a clean bill of health!  If they don't, there may be agencies in your area which will cover them for uninsured women.  You just have to do your research.
7. Know your own breasts.  Take note of any visible changes.  Do breast self-exams.  If you have any suspicion that something seems "off" - see your doctor.  (source, source)

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and my friend, Paul, at Suddora, has developed a line of Breast Cancer Awareness sweatbands and headbands, with a portion of sales going to Brides Against Breast Cancer.  He sent me enough sets for 3 giveaways but if you would love to support a great cause, head over to Suddora and pick up some extras.

Want to win?  Enter through Rafflecopter below - mandatory entry is to leave a comment listing 1 thing you will do to help save 2nd base in yourself or someone you love.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Giveaway is open to residents of the United States or those with a USPS mailing address.  Suddora Sports provided me with 3 sets of headbands and sweatbands to give away.  All opinions are my own.

Thankful Thursday: #Fitbloggin Baby!

As you read this, I'm en route to Fitbloggin14 in Savannah, GA!  

I had the best time EVER when I attended 3 years ago and I can't wait to meet up with old friends and meet some new friends as well.

In addition to attending, I'll be LiveBlogging a session on Friday at 9:30 - Weight Loss: Maintaining the Mojo, presented by DubyaWife and Katrina Pilkington.  If you aren't attending, you can follow along with the session here.  I've never live blogged before, so cross your fingers that it works without a hitch!

I can't wait to share all I learn with you next week!

Oh, one more thing...say a prayer that I don't keel over on my 14 miler while I'm down there.  It's going to be in the 90s. Lord have mercy.

Thankful Thursday: healthy living survey

This survey was on Mindy's blog yesterday and I thought it would be fun to answer the questions. Being healthy and trying to live a healthy lifestyle is something I feel thankful for, so it fits with my Thursday theme :)

1.  What did you eat for breakfast? Most days, I'll eat my version of an egg mcmuffin - an egg cooked in the microwave with a slice of Canadian bacon on a toasted English muffin.  Usually there's a side of cantaloupe and coffee with French Vanilla creamer. Today, I had 1/2 a serving of PB Overnight Oats, a side of melon and coffee with creamer.

2.  How much water do you drink a day?  This varies.  I shoot for 64 ounces and sometimes this happens but usually I'm closer to 32 ounces.  Bad, I know.

3.  What is your current favorite workout? Right now I'm all about the running.  I'm starting to see some nice improvements in my pace and that's encouraging.

4.  How many calories do you eat a day? I use My Fitness Pal and have my calories set at 1240.  I will also "eat back" any exercise calories I earn.  I'm little and it's working for me so please don't say my calories are too low.

5.  What are your favorite healthy snacks? I'm not sure that they are healthy because the calorie count is so high, but I love almonds, especially mixed with a few chocolate chips.

6.  What do you usually eat for lunch? This depends on whether I go out or go home for lunch.  If I'm going home, it's usually a big salad with some canned chicken mixed it.  If I don't have any chicken, I'll add a Chobani Greek yogurt for protein.  If I have to go out for lunch, I'll usually hit up Subway or Panera.

7.  What is your favorite body part to strength train? Can I say none?  I really don't like strength training and I have to force myself.  Probably my favorite part to train is core/abs because it's quick.  Sadly, I don't do this enough and my abs are a joke.

8.  What is your least favorite body part to strength train? Right now, my least favorite part to strength train is arms/shoulders/back.  I love the fast results but since I hurt my shoulder about a year ago (doing the 100 pushups app - I made it through the whole thing with "girly" pushups and started again with military and fraked up my shoulder, BOO) strength training for this area just HURTS and I'm afraid of doing more damage.  I know I should work my legs more too, but then I'm too sore to run.

9.  What are your "bad" food cravings? I really don't think any food is "bad" if you plan it into your diet.  Plus, restricting items will just make you want them more.  That being said, I love pizza and would eat it for every meal if I could.  Oh, and ice cream, and red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, and creme brulee, and cream cheese frosting....

10.  Do you take vitamins or supplements? No.  I don't even take a multivitamin, which I know is really bad but I just never remember to take them.

11.  How often do you eat out? I've been trying to not spend money so lunches have mostly been at home and we are meal planning, but I'd say I eat out once a week on average.

12.  Do you eat fast food? Yes, but typically fast food for my family (at least the kids and I) is Subway.  I rarely eat McDonald's anymore and if I do, it's usually a double hamburger or a chicken sandwich and no fries.  I've even started liking their fruit and yogurt parfaits.

13.  Who is your biggest supporter? I have many and most of them I've "met" through social media.  I'm not going to single out any one supporter, but they know who they are :)

14.  Do you have a gym membership? Yes, I have a membership to the local YMCA.  There are 3 locations within 10 miles of my house and depending on what kind of workout I need will depend on which one I go to.  I rarely go to the classes other than spin, but rather use the treadmills, weigh equipment and the pool. Two of them have lap pools and the one closest to my house does not, one has a better indoor track, one has fans... you get the idea.

15.  How many hours of sleep do you get at night? I go to bed with the intention of getting 8 hours but I sleep like crap and probably only get about 5 hours of sleep each night.  Even with sleep meds, I only get about 6 hours.  If anyone knows how to fix broken sleep, I'm all ears.  Particularly around 3 or 4 in the morning.

16.  Do you have a "cheat" day? No. I tend to eat relatively healthy most of the time and I don't plan out a "cheat" day.  However, on long run days when I've burned a couple thousand calories? If I feel like eating, anything goes.  I've been watching my calories enough lately that going out and blowing all my hard work is hard.

17.  Do you drink alcohol? Yep.  I love good, local beers. I bet if I stopped having a beer each night I could drop the last 5 pounds.

18.  Do you have a workout buddy? I have some friends that I run with when our schedules cooperate, but I don't work out with a buddy at the gym.  I wish I did - maybe the strength training would go better if I was with someone.

19.  What is the best thing that has changed about your life since committing to a healthy lifestyle? I would have to say the encouragement to go beyond what I though possible.  I've taken up running, traveled for races, ventured into triathlon.  The encouragements and friendships developed through social media have been huge, also.  Most of my closest friends now are ones I meet through running - either in person or via Twitter and blogging.

20.  What was the last healthy thing you did? Wednesday morning I got up at 5am to go to the gym and run since I knew the run wouldn't happen after work.  I spent the rest of Wednesday exhausted, but I got my workout in!

What about you? How has healthy living impacted your life?  Feel free to copy the questions and blog yourself or pick a question to answer in the comments.  I'd love to read your responses.