Motivation Monday: OMG!

I've had more than a few OMG! moments lately.  This past weekend I had to buy a new pair of jeans because none of my current ones fit anymore.

Do you know how hard it is to "reward" yourself with new clothes because you got too fat for the ones you already own?  Not to mention OMG they were crazy expensive.  Not cool.  I really need work pants too because I'm down to 2 pair that fit, but I can't justify spending another $100 when I really don't want to wear them for very long.

This morning I saw a number on the scale that I said I would never see again. In fact, it's a whole decade HIGHER than another number I said I would never see again.  A full TWO decades higher than where I really think I should be.

Yes, it's just a number and I know some of it is bloat from salt and whatnot this weekend, but still. It took everything I had not to burst into tears this morning.  This number is just further confirmation that I've completely screwed up several YEARS worth of work.  I can't stand what I see in the mirror and I'm so disappointed in myself.

How is this motivating?

I dusted off MFP this morning - although I'm toying with the idea of going old-school journaling a la Weight Watchers and just writing down everything I eat and drink without tracking the calorie aspect.

I'm chugging water this morning like it's my JOB.

I'm making a plan to start lifting again when my stupid back settles down (it doesn't help that I failed my long run this weekend because I couldn't last a mile without pain).

Here's hoping all this motivation lasts for longer than a day or two and that number starts going down again and my current wardrobe starts fitting.