So I followed the advice of a few friends and put the scale away for a bit. I went on vacation and while I was gone, I got in a few runs and ate whatever I felt like eating. No low carb. No tracking. No counting calories. I came back from vacation and waited a few days before I weighed in. Shockingly, I only gained about 1/2 a pound while I was gone.
Flash forward another week where I've been more on track food-wise and exercising more, and now I'm up 2 more pounds. What the actual fuck???
I decided to go back in MFP and see a graph for the last year. 11 pounds gained is NOT what I had in mind. I can only imagine what my doctor is going to say when I'm in for my annual physical next month.
Because I'm some kind of masochist, I took a few pictures. Because pictures don't lie. I look as bad as I feel. I am resembling a stuffed sausage in my clothes and that's really not a good look for me.
There once was a time I really liked my back. Now? All I see is fat spilling over the sides of my way too tight sports bra and tank top. There are no muscles left.
I was *thisclose* to joining Weight Watchers again this morning. Why didn't I? Because as a "Lifetime Member" I would have to pay again until I reached my previous goal weight - which was 141 from probably over 10 years ago. There is no way that is a realistic goal anymore when I can't even get to 150.
I'm kind of stuck. I started tracking again today but that really hasn't worked for me. I should probably go back to very low carb. Honestly, I did lose a few pounds (it's that recent dip on the graph). I need to get back to the gym and start lifting again. I bought a 1-month unlimited yoga membership with my daughter to support her going (doctor's orders for her to see if they help her migraines). We went on Monday and Tuesday's run was very painful and this morning's run turned into a walk because my Achilles and calves were so sore. I thought yoga was supposed to help, not make you worse. Going again today so we shall see.
I really don't want advice. I don't want people suggesting this diet or that diet. Chances are, I've already tried and failed at them. If Whole 30 or Paleo or 21 Day Fix or
works for you, that's great. I'm done thinking they will work for me. I'm just putting this out there for some accountability to myself.
Back on the wagon I guess.
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