This week my friend, Carla, wrote a blog post imagining we could be sitting down with a cup of coffee and chatting about what is currently going on with our lives. I only wish I could be as transparent and open as is. Too many people I know read this blog and I've been burned in the past about stupid stuff like swearing (for real - someone from church told my husband he should talk to me about the language I use on MY blog, because a - like it was their fucking business and b - it's M's job to police my behavior), so I can't really open my heart like I'd like.
So here is my somewhat edited "currently" in TTT format.
1. I went to yoga today and was so frustrated by my lack of ability that it took everything I had to not leave the studio 15 minutes into class. I fought back tears but could not leave with my daughter on the mat next to me. I sucked out loud and it only served to reinforce what I already feel. I'd been feeling pretty good about the yoga sessions but today really took me down.
2. My daughter leaves for college in less than 3 weeks and my son in about 4 weeks. I'm not ready. I keep putting on a brave face but I really fear for what fall is going to bring. I know they are ready and I'm so blessed to have two strong, smart, independent young adults, but yes, I'm scared.
3. Because money is tight (hello 2 kids starting college and a $700 repair on my POS van last week), I've been donating plasma twice a week since early June to earn my "play" money. I haven't said much on social media but I'm treating it like a job - scheduled days/hours and I take it seriously. I think I eat well (except the 161 fucking pounds currently showing on the scale may say otherwise) and I've done really well with it other than some nausea, up until this week. I had a scare on Monday. I went in not feeling 100% and when they took my temp, it was 99*. Not high enough to deny me but high for me. I still donated because they didn't say I couldn't, then I came home and 2 hours later almost passed out while getting ready to go to yoga. Needless to say, I skipped yoga that day and didn't go to my group run the next day either. I donated again on Wednesday (because it's my job) and my protein level was the lowest it can possibly be to donate. Now I'm afraid I'm going to lose this source of income and I won't be able to plan any visits to friends anymore. It really sucks.
There you go. Three things currently on my mind. Anything you'd like to share over a cup of coffee with me?