If you don't like swearing, please don't read my post. You can close the browser-I won't be offended. Honestly.
Still here? Well, here goes...
I have been putting off writing this post all day because I just don't want to face it. I honestly don't understand my body at all. I have been steadily losing and I have been beyond good this week (see my True Confession post). However, I am up .8 fucking pounds to 154.8 this week!!!! WTF! This fucking sucks! Yeah, I'm pissed and don't feel like censoring myself like I usually do. (I normally don't want any of you to see the real me is potty mouthed and bitchy. Today I must not care.)
I cannot understand how I can be so good and work my ass off all week, to only GAIN weight. It doesn't make any sense. Here is my calorie log from Daily Plate for the past week. See if you can figure out where I went wrong:
2/11 consumed 1597, burned 143, net 1454
2/12 consumed 1072, burned 590, net 482 (missed dinner-had popcorn at movies instead)
2/13 consumed 1355, burned 336, net 1019
2/14 consumed 1700, burned 190, net 1510
2/15 consumed 1713, burned 553, net 1161
2/16 consumed 1395, burned 466, net 929
(Ok, big mistake-daughter just came into the room and found me crying as I write this post. She asked why I was crying and I told her. Way to pass on my body image issues to my 12 year old daughter. Sign me up for mother of the year.)
Daily Plate says I should get 1643 calories a day to lose 1.5 pounds a week. When I exercise, the calorie allotment goes up, so they are wanting me to "eat" those calories, too. Of the 6 days I posted here, I only felt like crap on the 482 net-calorie day (was really lightheaded, actually) but by the time we got home, it was really too late to eat. I haven't been hungry and one of the habits I'm trying to break is mindless snacking at the end of the day. Should I eat something if it looks like I still have calories left over, even if I'm not hungry? What the fuck is that going to do for me? I'm also sure I'm getting enough water since I'm running to the damn bathroom every hour. Also, if I drink more, that makes me not want to eat because I already feel full.
I thought maybe this gain was hormonal (which for me would be a minor miracle since Aunt Flo hasn't visited in over 5 years) but so far all I have are a few zits and several crying jags-nothing else is happening. Sorry, TMI, but I'm really trying to figure this shit out.
If you stuck with me, sorry for going off and for the potty mouth. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
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