This week's true confessions are going to take a different turn. Stay with me.
I don't typically discuss my faith on my blog. You know, that whole concept that religion and politics are off-limits. I don't know why. Maybe out of fear of offending someone, because I have my own questions, not really knowing what to say in the first place. I know that I believe in God and I know that he is watching over me, but what do I REALLY believe? What is FAITH? How do I KNOW? Do I really understand the awesome power He has? The amazing love He has for us?
In any case, I rarely discuss my relationship with God in this forum; however, He really hit me over the head on Sunday. I belong to a LCMS (Lutheran) church and about 4 months ago, our church started a second, contemporary service. Hubs attends both services (he's the chair of lay ministry, so he has to, but would choose the traditional if given the option) while the kids and I have been attending the contemporary service. I have been moved to tears in many of these services. Honestly, it is usually the music that does it. However, this Sunday was different. The sermon was about sharing our walk with God and how it isn't just the pastor's job to teach others about God. Scripture tells us in 1 Peter 3:15 to "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." Huh. Gotta think about that one. What would I say if someone asked me why I have hope? If someone asked me about my personal relationship with God, what would I say?
Later that evening, the family went to a church potluck, had some yummy grub (some of it decidedly non-Lutheran even!), and we watched the most eye-opening video. I was moved to tears (which I tried my best to hide so as to not look like a crazy person). This video made me realize that even in the vastness of God's creation, he knows me and he's always know me. He loves me. He is going to hold me together. I just have to trust him. I am not in control. Like the Psalmist said, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14.
The lecture went on, discussing the enormity of the universe that God created (you can watch the rest of it on YouTube and I encourage you to watch when you have the time). I sat in my seat dumbfounded. How could I question God? How could I advise God? How can I doubt? If God can create the Heavens and the Earth, I should trust that he did a pretty good job with little, insignificant, me. He has created stars that are enormous. Heck, I don't think there is an adjective to accurately describe them! But not only has he created the Heavens and the Earth. He created me. He created every molecule in my body. Every fiber of my being. He will hold me together. I just need to trust.
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