Weigh-In Wednesday: Craptastic

If you don't like swearing, please don't read my post. You can close the browser-I won't be offended. Honestly.

Still here? Well, here goes...

I have been putting off writing this post all day because I just don't want to face it. I honestly don't understand my body at all. I have been steadily losing and I have been beyond good this week (see my True Confession post). However, I am up .8 fucking pounds to 154.8 this week!!!! WTF! This fucking sucks! Yeah, I'm pissed and don't feel like censoring myself like I usually do. (I normally don't want any of you to see the real me is potty mouthed and bitchy. Today I must not care.)

I cannot understand how I can be so good and work my ass off all week, to only GAIN weight. It doesn't make any sense. Here is my calorie log from Daily Plate for the past week. See if you can figure out where I went wrong:

2/11 consumed 1597, burned 143, net 1454
2/12 consumed 1072, burned 590, net 482 (missed dinner-had popcorn at movies instead)
2/13 consumed 1355, burned 336, net 1019
2/14 consumed 1700, burned 190, net 1510
2/15 consumed 1713, burned 553, net 1161
2/16 consumed 1395, burned 466, net 929

(Ok, big mistake-daughter just came into the room and found me crying as I write this post. She asked why I was crying and I told her. Way to pass on my body image issues to my 12 year old daughter. Sign me up for mother of the year.)

Daily Plate says I should get 1643 calories a day to lose 1.5 pounds a week. When I exercise, the calorie allotment goes up, so they are wanting me to "eat" those calories, too. Of the 6 days I posted here, I only felt like crap on the 482 net-calorie day (was really lightheaded, actually) but by the time we got home, it was really too late to eat. I haven't been hungry and one of the habits I'm trying to break is mindless snacking at the end of the day. Should I eat something if it looks like I still have calories left over, even if I'm not hungry? What the fuck is that going to do for me? I'm also sure I'm getting enough water since I'm running to the damn bathroom every hour. Also, if I drink more, that makes me not want to eat because I already feel full.

I thought maybe this gain was hormonal (which for me would be a minor miracle since Aunt Flo hasn't visited in over 5 years) but so far all I have are a few zits and several crying jags-nothing else is happening. Sorry, TMI, but I'm really trying to figure this shit out.

If you stuck with me, sorry for going off and for the potty mouth. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

True Confession Tuesday

It's True Confession Tuesday over at the Sisterhood and I'm feeling a need to confess.

This confession isn't going to be what you'd expect; however, since I've been very good (exceptional almost) this week. So, if you don't like to hear whining, bitching and moaning, you can close the browser now and walk away. Really, I won't be offended. You can go. Seriously. Go.

Ok, now that everyone has left, I can vent and swear to my heart's content. Here is my confession:

• I am really hating my body right now. It is betraying me. I know we just finished that whole "re-think your shrink" challenge, and for the most part I'm in a really good place mentally, but this week has really sucked. I weigh myself pretty much every morning (stupid, masochistic, whatever-it is what it is) and this week I have been UP .4 to 1 lb all fracking week! I can find no explanation for it and it pisses me off. This is not going to get me into the 140's dammit.
• I have been downright OUTSTANDING with logging my food (staying within my calories)and kicking it into high gear with the exercise. I'm into week 3 of my c210K training for God's sake! 30 freakin' miles in 2 1/2 weeks. I'm 1/2 way through the EA sports more workouts 6-week challenge. We didn't go out for Valentine's Day! I had one measly dark chocolate with almonds bar (which I accounted for). I'm going to float away if I drink one more glass of water.
• WTF!
• I repeat, WTF!

Seriously, I don't understand this. I have no idea what is going to happen with the scale for weigh-in tomorrow, but if I'm up, I'm going to be really depressed. I know I am making good changes, my clothes are getting looser, and I've committed to getting healthier. But, I really need to see those numbers go down.

Please, body, quit screwing with me.

Please.

That is all.

Re-Think Your Shrink: Final Monday Project Link-up

I can't believe it has been (almost) 7 weeks since the Re-Think Your Shrink challenge began. Have I changed my thinking with regards to my weightloss efforts? Let's see....

How did I do these past 7 weeks? Well, I did quite well in this challenge, thank you very much! I managed to lose 7.2 pounds and earned my 10 pound button (see it over on the left?). I've also been literally working my a** off :) I've been working out almost every day and started training for a 10K. Just in the past 2 weeks I've logged 20.56 miles on my Nike+. That's freakin' huge for me, people!

Did I discover my patterns/fall into old patterns/make new patterns? I've discovered that, for me, tracking what goes into my pie-hole makes all the difference in the world. I'm making myself accountable. I can go back to my logs at dailyplate and see if I've had too much in and/or not enough burning it off. The livestrong app I bought for my phone was one of the best couple bucks I've ever spent.

Did I do anything differently/get out of my comfort zone? For anyone who found my vlog, you know this is a resounding "YES". I am such a complete dork, but I had fun doing it. I've said when I hit the 20# loss mark, I'll do another one.

Have I re-thunk my shrunk? I think I have. I've always had the know-how and the basic tools to lose weight, but this time around, I have a great support system to cheer me on (or give me a kick in the keester if I need it). For that, I am eternally grateful.

Are there pictures? I hadn't planned on putting in "after" pictures because I'm really not to the "after" point yet and I don't think the weight loss really shows. However, the pants I put on a couple days ago prompted me to take a few new shots. (Now, bear in mind that I am taking these of myself, with a tripod, and I am in no way a decent photographer.) You can't really see it from the photos, but these pants are so baggy that I have to wear a belt and keep having to hike them up. All of my belts are also now to the tightest notch. I really don't want to buy new pants yet, because I hope to get quite a bit smaller, but I may have to invest in some new belts, or maybe a little bit of tailoring.

Here's the before:

Here are the after:

(I must appologize for the layout of this posting. I really need a blog upgrade!)

Re-Think Your Shrink: The Final Weigh-In

Holy Cats! How did 7 weeks go by so quickly? I can't believe we are at the end of this challenge already. Have I "Re-Thought My Shrink"? Let's see.

I started this challenge at 161.2 pounds. Today's weight: 154.0! That's 7.2 pounds down for this challenge (and 11.8 since I joined the sisterhood last summer at 165.8#). The 160's have left the building and I am on my way OUT of the 150's! Obviously, I must be doing something right. I really think I have "re-thought my shrink." I have decided to embrace technology and let it help me this time around. I love my online tracking tool Daily Plate (you can find it at www.livestrong.com or as an app through i-tunes). I've started using a Nike+ chip to track my runs and have started training for a 10K. (Now if I can only dig-out today to find a treadmill for today's run, I'll be a happy camper.) I've been working through the 6-week challenge on Wii EA Sports Active More Workouts on non-run days.

I haven't changed my eating habits that much, other than the tracking. I think the exercise and just making myself accountable have been the biggest changes during this challenge. I even managed to step outside my comfort zone and vlog for the first time when I reached the 10 pound mark. (Maybe there will even be a vlog 2.0 when I earn my 20 pound button.)

Thank you to all of the wonderful, beautiful, ladies I have "met" through this journey. From the bottom of my heart, I couldn't have accomplished this much without your love, humor, and rockin' support!

See you all in the Shrinking Jeans Olympics! Don't worry, Christie O, I'm not going anywhere!

Monday Project Link-Up: Doing Something Different

This week at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans we were asked to think outside the fitness box and try something we had never done before. Now, I really struggled with this because I've been at this exercise and weightloss thing for a long time and have tried pretty much everything available to me. I've done every class our gym has to offer, worked out to DVDs and the Wii. I've run, I've walked, I've done Zumba (not my cup of tea, btw). I've done Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, gone it on my own. I've run several 5K's. Needless to say, my options were looking pretty bleak.

Then I realized, pretty much everything I've done with exercise this week HAS incorportated something new. I'm using technology to train.

• I'm using the Nike+ sensor for the first time (love it!)
• I downloaded a Couch to 10K program onto my phone
• I'm training for a 10K

Since I wasn't sure if these would count since I have tried running in the past, I decided to do something completely crazy and outside my comfort zone. I did a vlog. I actually allowed myself to be videotaped while jumping around like an idiot during our Biggest Loser Last Chance Tworkout on Tuesday night. This is from a girl who rarely allows herself to be photographed, much less videotaped. About as far outside my comfort zone as I could go. I hit the 10 pound loss mark this week. Maybe this will be an every-10-pounds event.

Enjoy the laugh at my expense. I can take it.

Click here for the video.

Re-Think Your Shrink: Week 5 Weigh-In

I have been waiting to write this post for far too long. I've met my 1st goal!!!!!!!!! Check out my new button to the left. Did you see it???? I've finally lost 10 pounds! Can I get a "Woot-Woot"!

I am down 1.8 pounds this week to 155.6. This puts me at 5.6 pounds for the challenge and 10.2 pounds overall. I'm finally starting to see some real results and that has me pumped. Excuse me while I go do the happy dance.....

....ok, I'm back. I feel like I'm committing to some serious changes here and it is paying off. I even started training for a 10K this week. I downloaded a couch to 10K program onto my phone and did the first walk/run yesterday. I bought new running shoes but I'm still having some issues with my orthotics, so I'm hoping foot and knee problems don't sideline me before I even get started, but I'm working on it. I've also continued my EA Sports Active More Workouts 6-week challenge and I'm logging all my food and exercise online. It seems I've found the right combination of food and exercise and my net calories are staying in a range that is keeping the scale moving in the right direction. Plus, I have all these great ladies at the Sisterhood cheering me on. Thanks, girls! Any little bit to keep me accountable. Let's hope this trend continues.

Monday project link up: Hello Me!

Our project (homework) this week with the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans was to write a letter to ourselves from our future selves. This was designed to make us "reflect" on the goals we set and to celebrate our accomplishments. This was a tough project for me, but here is my letter:

Dearest Bari,

Hello there 2010 me!

Boy, if you only knew what 2010 was going to be like for you, you'd blow a gasket. Oh wait, that's what I'm here to tell you. I don't want to spoil all the fun and surprises, so I'll just hit the highlights.

You really started 2010 with a bang. Must have been that midlife crisis you were having about turning 40 and Thing 1 and Thing 2 becoming teenagers. (More on that later.) Whatever it was, it finally gave you that kick in the ass to get back on track with your health. You finally got serious about getting back to a healthier weight. You bought a wii, got an iPhone with some running and food tracking apps, and found all these awesome, supportive friends through the blogosphere! I always knew you were kinda techie, but who knew you could use that to get healthy and make some new friends. Well girl, with all your hard work and the support of your family and friends, you definitely met your goal of being in the 140's before you hit 40. And you look fab, if I do say so myself :)

In April, you celebrated your 15th anniversary! That's certainly nothing to shake a stick at. You are one lucky girl to have such a great guy by your side. Not to mention, you are a good 3 sizes smaller than you were when you got married!

Part of going crazy must have prompted you to sign up for that 10K race. I know at the time you were thinking "OMFG, what have I done?", but you trained all spring and crossed the finish line in May with 6.2 miles under your feet. You weren't the fastest on the course, but you weren't the slowest either. You even managed to run more than you walked. Way to go! All the running has really helped you get that weight off-keep it up this time! Better than finishing the race, your daughter signed up to run it with you and you crossed the finish line together! It still brings tears to my eyes!

Speaking of those awesome twins of yours...they completely rocked their first year of middle school. To celebrate their 13th birthday in August, you spent a week at Disney World. The kids had an absolute blast! It definitely was "The Happiest Place On Earth"! You and the hubby were even able to get some alone time on this trip since your very responsible kids were able to do some things on their own, too. Excellent!

Summer came to an end and you came home from Disney and hit that 40th birthday right between the eyes. You were fit, and you were fabulous! To celebrate, you bought yourself a new pair of Silver jeans-from the junior's department! Those size 14's you bought yourself for Christmas in 09 that were already getting baggy in January 2010?-totally sold them on ebay since you will never be that size again.

Keep going strong, Bari! You accomplished a lot in 2010. 2011 is going to just get better and better. But, some advice before I head back to the future:

• Listen to your body. Use food as fuel. Make sure you eat enough but don't get sloppy again with the portion sizes. That's how you put the weight back on last time. Keep tracking with your iPhone-that's why you bought the damn thing.
• Schedule that mammogram and stay out of the sun. I know you think you look better with a tan, but you know you just burn anyway. Stick to the spray-on kind. You know what will happen if you don't and your kids don't need to lose their mom like you did at their age. Harsh, but true.
• Accept that you will never be able to be everything to everybody. Get over it.
• Hug your kids and husband EVERY SINGLE DAY!
• Love yourself. You have become one strong, HOT, rockin' woman. Celebrate that fact! This is very hard for you to do. It is going to take some work, but with friends like those righteous gals at the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, you can do it. If you don't, they'll come up to Michigan and give you the swift kick in the ass you need! Those gals are the ones who suggested I write you this letter. Pretty cool and insightful, huh?

I love you, 2010 me, and I'm so proud of what you accomplished this year!

2011 Me