Tuesday, April 12, 2011

True Confessions

Last week was my anniversary week and also my spring break.  I could have gone crazy but I didn't.  Basically I hardly worked out at all because I ended up with the sinus infection from hell, but it was a little better by Thursday so I went to the track and ran with my girl.  I also attempted to run yesterday but the heat had spiked to 83* and my planned 8 miles turned into 6 really slow miles with lots of walking which made me feel like a loser for not being able to run 8 freaking miles and now I'm panicking that I'm never going to be able to run 13 this weekend or 15.5 in a month.  The day of our anniversary, I made super healthy choices except for not eating lunch and then having 2 glasses of wine with dinner but we won't talk about that.  I ended up not having any beer this weekend because the places we went only had domestic nasty crap and I won't waste calories on beer that doesn't taste good.  We even walked the 1/2 mile (we really had no idea how far it was until after we walked it and I checked my gps) from Greektown to Joe Louis, rather than wait in the super long PeopleMover line.  I didn't eat or drink anything at the game.  I did end up very dehydrated though, because I also barely drank any water all weekend.  I felt hungover Sunday morning, even though I'd only had 2 glasses of wine.  I even passed up red velvet cupcakes this weekend and they are my all-time favorite. 

So overall, I had a pretty good week considering how sick I started out and the potential for disaster over the weekend.  I weighed myself Monday morning and was at my lowest weight to date.

So why do I feel so fat?  Why did I spend the whole day yesterday hating my fat, pasty legs showing under my dress (that is now too big)?  Why did I feel like I had to wear a sweater over my tank top because my arms don't seem any more defined/less flabby than before the push up challenge started?  Why can't I just be happy with how I look now and be proud of what I've accomplished?

Clearly I need to work on my head.  My inner mean girl is on a rampage.

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry your IMG is being such a bitch. And clearly she's being a bitch because you have done amazing things. You've come so far and accomplished so much.

    PS: Kudos to passing up red velvet cupcakes. You are much stronger than me!!!

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  2. i agree with roo. your IMG is jealous because you're so hot now. :)

    also? don't worry about the heat. i had to take a walk break in my 3 miler yesterday. does that mean i suck and that i can do the M4 this weekend? no. it means that heat zaps you, especially when it jumps up like that and you don't have time to adapt. give yourself a break.

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  3. Totally tell her to bite it- the inner mean girl.
    Walk breaks totally happen to EVERYONE. Especially when the sinus crud is strong right now.
    Oh and? Eat that cupcake! Don't let IMG tell you no! Love it, savor it, and move on. One cupcake does not a chubby Bari make!

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  4. You are SO NOT A FAT GIRL!! Tell that mean girl to suck the he** up!! You rock and walking during a long run like that is NOT anything to be ashamed!!

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