Thursday, October 30, 2014

#guestpost Really Horribly Terrible Marathon-Training Advice from Jack Sh*t

You say you're going on Hiatus  because you need a little blogging break and don't know what to write about, and a blogger you greatly admire comments, "Maybe write about bloggers you admire.  *hint hint*".  You find this really funny and reply back, "Or maybe get one of those bloggers I admire to write a guest post? *hint hint*"

Wouldn't you know it, a really awesome guest post showed up!  I had the pleasure of meeting Jack Sh*t way back at FitBloggin11.  He's just as funny in real life as he is on his blog and the fact he took the time to write a guest post for my readers here (when I wasn't expecting one) shows what a stand-up guy he is.  Since it's Thursday and I usually post something thankful, I think this really fits because I'm thankful to know bloggers like Jack.

Without further ado I give you...

Really Horribly Terrible Marathon-Training Advice

A Guest Post by Jack Sh*t

• If you’re planning to run a marathon right after going to the restroom, make sure you don’t have toilet paper stuck in the back of your pants. A 26.2-mile stream of toiler paper is extremely wasteful!

• If you put a treadmill in the back of a pick-up truck and have someone drive you around while you run on it, it feels just like you’re running outside. Try it yourself if you don’t believe me!

• It’s important not to get dehydrated on long runs, so consider wearing a hydration pack or carrying a bucket of water balloons.

• Running’s easier if you’re as light as possible so before you head out, send me all the cash out of your wallet.

• Find what motivates YOU to run; for me, it’s when somebody says “I think the security guard saw you shove that down your pants.”

• Spend at least one day per week practicing carbo-loading.

• If you’re a barefoot runner, refrain from training in a field of broken glass and rusty nails.

• You shouldn’t run if it’s rainy, or looks like rain, or if there’s a chance of rain, or if it’s too sunny, too cloudy or too plain-looking.

Remember:  it’s all about putting one foot in front of the other (never – and I mean never – put one foot in front of the same foot!).


Jack Sh*t is a blogger that blogs his blog at Bloggityblog.blog, where he goes on and on and on about weight loss and explores the lighter side of lightening up. A Google search of the term “Jack Sh*t: America’s Greatest Hero” produces zero results.

Thank you, Jack!  You really put a smile on my face this week :)

 

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