At the end of the session, Steve and Sue gave the attendees some homework. Their assignment, as I understand it, was to call ourselves on our own bullshit. To really get to the heart of what might be holding us back.
So that's what I'm doing today. Even though I didn't attend the session, I'm doing the homework. I'm calling myself out for two behaviors that are preventing me from moving forward. I'm giving myself some tough love and I welcome any of you to do the same. Call yourselves out. Call me out. I know there's lots more I could talk about than what's in this post.
So here goes...#tribelove...Stop the Negativity and Feeling Sorry for Yourself
One of my very bad habits is to judge all of my progress (or lack there of) by a negative I perceive in the moment. By one weigh in. By one workout. By one run. I start feeling sorry for myself and this spirals out of control and begins to affect the next workout, weigh in, run, etc. I don't see I'm doing this until someone points it out to me. I commented yesterday to a very close friend that I felt like I'd fucked everything up (I hurt myself this week and haven't been able to run since Saturday and I'm still up the nearly 5 pounds from vacation). I was frustrated. Honestly, I still am 24 hours after that statement. My friend said, "I understand, but nothing is fucked up. You always judge by today." I was asked to stop feeling sorry for myself because it was going to affect the workout I was literally sitting in the car dreading.
Did it sting to hear that? Yes. But my friend was 100% correct and the words were not intended to hurt me but to give me that kick in the butt I needed. I'd woken up in a good mood and based on a couple little events, was spiraling and literally crying in the parking lot of my YMCA an hour later. It wasn't pretty, folks.
This isn't the first time I've done this. My "poor me" attitude has gotten called out before. Sometimes it's on DailyMile. Sometimes on Facebook. Sometimes through a text. It's a recurring theme.
I'm calling myself out on the negativity and self-pity.
I need to recognize that one bad *fill in the blank* does not need to define the rest of my day (or week, or training cycle, or whatever). Feeling frustrated is fine. Emotions are fine. Continuing to let that frustration negatively impact me and ruin my tomorrow is not.
I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and look for the positives. I ran farther on Saturday than I have in about 2 years and I finished with a smile on my face. Missing some runs this week isn't going to completely destroy my ability to have a strong run at Detroit in October.
I'm still down 10 pounds, even with the little slip-up in Savannah. I'm making progress in the right direction and will continue to do so provided I get myself back on track.
I have friends who love me and aren't afraid to give me some #tribelove. I need to hear and be reminded of my own BS so this post is giving you permission to call me out. Too many check ins on Untappd? Posting pictures of food porn or #notpaleo or #totallyworthit? Bitching about a bad workout? Call me on it.
From time to time, I need to dish out the same to myself.